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three years of littlecity

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tumblr_netz7lKuZh1u21eo4o1_500it was early 2011 when i first shyly toyed with the idea of starting a “blog.” it was around the time that the word “blog” didn’t have exactly the same connotation as it does today. blogs were “the cool thing,” and no one rolled their eyes at you when you proudly declared that you were writing one. in 2015, though, the word “blog” itself is enough to make me cringe. following our continuing obsession with portmanteauing everything — mockumentary, liger, brangelina, affluenza — the “blog” is in itself one of those sad words you can’t help but be embarrassed to say out loud. but in the beginning, the timidity wasn’t for the word but for the thing itself.

it was years, literally years, before i was able to talk about this thing called littlecity without the obligatory nervous laugh or sheepish grin. it’s funny how hard it can be to talk about these things that we’re passionate about, the projects that we pour our hearts into, the goals we stop at nothing to achieve. i have brushed off littlecity like it wasn’t one of the most important parts of my life. i have smiled and blushed and rolled my eyes when others have talked about littlecity in praise. it was easy for me to talk about anything else, other than this thing that, some days, i wake up for in the morning.

as a creative person, it’s hard to “sell your brand.” there were times when the idea of even having a brand was something i thought i should be against. but branding, i’ve learned, is nothing more than the you that you show to the rest of the world. in littlecity’s case, this is the me that i am. it’s taken a long time to get here; in the early days, i hid behind sarcasm, self-deprecation (the ubiquitous “i’m not really sure where this was going”), (bad) jokes, and words that overcompensated. i grew out of that, for the most part. i pledged to be fiercely honest at all costs, coming out guns blazing, often writing exactly how i speak (nonsensically) and making “nothing” statements that while honest, didn’t say much other than to say it loudly. i’ve grown out of that last bit too (i hope). i’ve realized that writing honestly doesn’t have to mean writing naively, that writing with a sense of humour doesn’t have to mean writing crassly, and that writing with spirit doesn’t have to mean writing without structure or professionalism. i have felt incredible growth as a writer running this — for lack of a better word — blog for the past three years and that has been invaluable, more so than any number of facebook likes, any amount of outside appreciation, or any kind of credit.

that’s not to say, of course, that your support over the past 3 years has gone unnoticed. i would in no way be where i am without the loyalty and constant words of love from my close circle of friends and from, especially, the music community in montreal. to those that have shared the dancefloor with me, who have asked for my help in bringing their projects to life, who have helped bring my project to life… to those who have read every word, who have understood every sentence, and taken time to talk about this project… to those who have collaborated, to those who have lead and followed and been here since the very beginning (even though that beginning included a questionable post about whether or not we should hate chris brown); thank you.

there are still times when talking about littlecity makes me shy. there are times when i can’t bring myself to pull out a stack of business cards and shove them in the face of a complete stranger. there are very often times when i feel myself not knowing how exactly to form words into sentences about it, because it is important to me. and maybe more than being shy about it, we are protective over the things we love. but, as i always say, i can chalk up the best things in my life to “being brave moments.” i hope that, of anything you could possibly take from this piece and from this blog, it is that. be brave. try not to be shy, try to be less overprotective. trust. speak up about the things you are passionate about. more than that and most importantly: do them.

 

 

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